Not So "Almost" Thirty!

I am who I am!

Well, kiddies!
The unthinkable has happened. I am officially 30 years old.
In the past six weeks, I've also lost four pounds, and a recent trip to Vegas helped drain my bank account. But who needs money anyways?! Interestingly, I've become very fond of cheetah print in my advanced age as evidenced in both pictures posted. 

I'll pontificate more on this momentous occasion if there is, by chance, a snow day tomorrow. Until then, I just have to say, welcome to the world to my newest little baby love: Amelia Ruth.

Amelia Ruth: my newest little chickadee!

I Got 99 Problems...and Publishing is 1!

 

As an almost thirty year old 7^th grade language arts teacher, one might think that I am too old to enjoy the profane nature of rap music. The curses that flow like water from the mouths of artists such as Jay Z, Eminem, Ludicrous, and Kanye may be perceived as a offensive to what is sure to be my sensitive ears and mind. How could a fine upstanding role model such as myself listen to music with such violence, inappropriate content, and down right rudeness towards…everyone? What is it about this vulgar music that I could find so appealing?

In a word: everything! But mostly the escape. The escape and the word play!

When I listen to rap music, for just a few minutes of my otherwise acutely appropriate life, I am a BAMF! That’s right. I just used an abbreviation of a very serious expletive, and I typed it on a laptop that was issued to me by the school. See what even writing about rap music does to me? It turns me into a reeeeeaal rebel. Look out world; there's no tellin' what I'll do next!

For the record, today was Free Write Friday- a day that I encourage and support my students’ creative endeavors and model the act of writing by writing while they write… that may have been an overuse of the word “write”; so much for being a shining example. As I sit and type, I try to lead by example- to show them that writing doesn't have to be a chore. It is my hope that by allowing them time to write about whatever topic they desire, they will become more fluent, more confident, and better able to produce written work on command. That’s my hope. Fingers crossed!

As for that darn rap music, I truly believe rap artists are brilliant. The way they think outside the box and take words and manipulate them to rhyme, give them a beat and  power- it’s down right impressive. When I listen to the lyrics of some of these songs, I find myself in awe of the way they control the English language. They misuse words (on purpose!), recycle phrases, mash up/scramble/toss these words in such a way that you can’t help but marvel at the feelings they derive.

I wish I had such brilliance in my own writing. Never would I want to be a rapper…well, that’s not entirely true; I think I'd look pretty cute in a pair of baggy jeans and a flat brimmed hat.  But alas, I am a wicked white girl from NH, so it is not likely. My only wish is that I can some day create prose that makes people feel as powerful as Jay Z makes me feel.

This weekend, I will be heading to Boston for my third Jay Z concert. In my stomach, there are tiny gangster butterflies with bandanas knotted around their heads and gold chains around their itty bitty necks. I am so excited; I cannot wait to get my swagger back!

**Disclaimer** I wrote this a week ago and forgot to hit the "Publish" button- classic airhead move. More to come about last weekend at Project Themoir.

Oooo Baby Baby!

As an almostthirty year old, it is not shocking that a crazy number of my friends are bringing forth new life. Oh, the babies they are having! There are boys and girls and yet to be determined fetuses still brewing...all are a glorious part of the circle of life. Cue the Lion King soundtrack. 

Today, on my 17th day off, I wheeled on up to the hospital to welcome the most recent arrival. I must say she is beautiful. 

Welcome into the world, Miss Lexie Ann! Your Auntie Krystal loves you already...mostly because you slept the entire time I visited. And when you do wake up to cry, eat, or poop (since that's all you will be doing for...months!), I will be at my apartment watching The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and painting my nails. 

Looky, Looky! I'm a natural.

About the Money, Honey

In an attempt to be less poorer, I made an appointment  earlier this week with a very knowledgeable man who I will call Mr. LeLender. He is a bank guy and is known for his way with money. He can save like an absolute boss, and I figured a little sit down with him might give me some ideas about how I can stop hemorrhaging money and start squirreling away for my future...Remember, I am almostthirty!

When I whipped out my spreadsheet that I had prepared (because I am SERIOUS this time), he was duly impressed. Not only was he impressed, but he told me I am actually not that bad off...WHO KNEW?! With the money I have left over from my absolutely must pay bills, he claims I have quite a bit of money to pay down my credit card debt and stash in my savings account. Eureka!

Hold up. If I have money, where the heck is it? ...What I had failed to factor into my monthly finances were the trips to Target (Who can leave there without spending at least $50?!) and my daily eating out expenses.

Oh right. Food...

Monday- Coffee at Dunks in the AM and dinner at Sal's Pizza.
Tuesday- Coffee at Dunks in the AM and dinner at Siam Orchid or Moritomo or Dos Amigos or Boloco...OR MAYBE a grilled cheese.
Wednesday- Coffee at Dunks in the AM and dinner at Siam Orchid or Moritomo or Dos Amigos or Boloco...OR MAYBE fish, couscous, and a veggie.
Thursday- Coffee at Dunks in the AM and dinner at Siam Orchid or Moritomo or Dos Amigos or Boloco...
Friday- Coffee at Dunks in the AM and dinner at Remi's or The Barley House or Hermanos or The Common Man
Saturday- A garlic bagel and coffee (or a latte if I'm feeling luxe) at The Works in the AM. For lunch, perhaps Live Juice or In a Pinch or...wild card. Followed by dinner somewhere depending on which city I am in that weekend.
Sunday- A bagel and coffee (or a latte if I'm feeling like a high roller), lunch somewhere at The Works in the AM. Lunch is usually purchased at Live Juice or a sandwich place and then dinner is usually cooked at home.

Yikes. After typing up that very real schedule of take-out and eat out, I guess it's no wonder I always find myself coming up dangerously close to $100 to my name at the end of a pay period. I really should feel more embarrassment about this...To be frank, as I am writing, I just ordered a delicious hot chocolate from True Brew Cafe at Gibson's Bookstore: Goodbye, $3.00! Although yesterday, yes, yesterday (snow day!) I also had a hot mid-day writing hot chocolate, it cost $3.50. Same size. Same place. Look at me saving money!

Anyways, after speaking with Mr. LeLender, I walked away feeling optimistic about my financial future. He made some suggestions that I went home immediately and implemented:

1. Pay off my Banana Republic credit card and then NEVER use it again...We'll see about that last part- the $10 bonus cash is irresistible.
2. Increase the amount I deposit into my secret savings and then stop robbing from myself.
3. Start an additional savings account for Christmas expenses, which inevitably sneak up and screw me every year...Merry Fricken Christmas! Enjoy that thoughtful gift card I bought you with my secret savings money!
4. Quit eating all my money... Twice this week I ate in. Wednesday night I enjoyed a delectable tuna melt and tomato soup a la the roomie fantastic, and last night I embarked on a culinary journey to make linguini and artichoke hearts with a squash medley. (The journey included cutting the squash, boiling the linguine and opening a can of artichoke hearts and dumping them into a skillet with tomato sauce...tricky stuff.)

For 2014 and especially in the 64 days leading up to the end of my almostthirty era, I want to feel abundance. After doing some serious soul searching, I have come to realize that coming from a place of scarcity leads me to make foolish decisions and only furthers my intense anxiety surrounding money. I intend to work with abundance in my heart and mind and make wiser choices about how I spend the money I have. In order to feel abundance you must act with abundance. I'm still figuring out just what that will look like, but I know that it is possible. Here's to following my Core Desired Feelings! (If you don't know about these- watch this video by the genius Danielle LaPorte- you must.)

The Desire Map

Daniell has not only inspired me to address my money issues in a new way, but she has ultimately helped me transform my desire to write into the courage to write. With the encouragement and partnership of my best friend for life (BFFL), Kate, my words are flowing more fluidly than ever! We have so many ideas that we teamed up to create a blog chronicling our friendship and adventures. Please check out our joint effort: Project Themoir.


Peace and Pizza,

-Krystal

P.S. I meant to celebrate Dry-uary this month. As in, not drinking until February. As you can see by the glass in the picture, I lasted one day.
 

Fickle as a Pickle

Happy New Year! 

So, I have said this time and time again: never trust me. I am famous for my stories- the ones that are not entirely true. I would never lie about something of a serious nature or anything that truly concerns another human being and their precious feelings. What I lie about is myself. I tend, as you have seen by the previous two posts, to make grand declarations to myself. They say the way to hell is paved with good intentions; I wouldn't say my intention to make a blog about my last years of almost 30-dom are "good", but man did I drop the ball...again!

Rewind to June; I was all bright eyed and rosy cheeked thinking about the impact my words could have on my readers. Heart pumping as I pledged, to myself, that this writing thing was going to be daily and plentiful. June 24th- what better day to commit to yourself? You know what happened? I didn't write another post for over six months. Not a quick blurb about my favorite scarf of the winter season- For the record it's this chunky cable knit infinity number in a beautiful cranberry hue that cost me on $8.00 plus Maine tax. I found it while at Christmas Prelude- an event that, if I had been writing regularly, would have made for quite the story. When I went to see Beyonce and then mere weeks later Jay-Z and Justin "I am so hot" Timberlake, not a word was typed. Both shows were transcendental, inspiring, the things words are meant for! Nothing.

With 65 days left until I leave "Almost30" behind, I am going to write as often as I can. Don't quote me on that. Quote me on the brilliant nuggets of wisdom I am sure write in the very near future. Like tomorrow. Honest.

PEACE.

WEBSITE COUNTDOWN

Don't Call it a Comeback!

...One year later... 

just a tiny bit fatter
on the way to getting less poorer (more on that later)
even MORE almost thirty (257 days left, suckers)

My original intent- wait, is that where I went wrong?...intentions! Gah! Who can live up to such expectations?!...

Okay, so my original intent of this blog was to write my way through the last quickly fleeting days of my "almost 30" year+ (original, I know). I thought that by establishing a blog and sending it out into the world (or at least posting it on the internet somewhere where, perhaps, someone will someday find it), I would be more inclined to reflect on all that I am doing, will do, and have done. You know, bring some insight into my life; practice my wordsmithing skills; launch a revolution. Who knows?

Apparently, my dedication to the written word is fickle. Clearly, my commitment to myself as a "writer" is mercurial. But alas...that all changes TODAY! I reinstate the "Fatter, Poorer, Almost Thirty" blogger majiggy and bring to you my random musings. Hopefully after a couple of practice posts, I'll stumble upon a flow or theme ("they" say you should have focus). While I always tell my students to pre-write ("It's the MOST important step in the writing process Bs and Gs! (that's boys and girls to those of you not quick with the decoding)), I am doing a more haphazard, let it flow approach today. I know... You're welcome.

************

The name's Krystal. I am a 7th grade teacher by day (actually, for 180 days), and this summer I am making my debut as a nanny (less poorer here I come)! When I am not busy lighting the fire of curiosity under the butts of my student, I am a Zumba enthusiast (I adore the feeling of letting loose with loud Latin rhythms pumping all around me- lights flashing- hips gyrating.) I love bad TV and good movies and taking pictures and following (isn't that just a polite way of saying "stalking"?) people on social media sites. I enjoy art, exploring spirituality, and I'm slowly breaking into the yoga world one back bend at a time.

All these loves be true but my first love is and always will be WORDS. Reading them. Speaking them. Squinting at them until they get fuzzy and swim across a page. Singing them loudly in my car or in the hallway at school. Devouring them under the sheets too late at night. Licking them off the pages of a magazine- starting at the back because I can. Smelling them- freshly printed on a worksheet hot off the machine at work. Encouraging them to scribble their way into reality at the hands of an unsure 12 year old.  Cutting them out and pasting them all over my wall (Yes, I still do this...). I subscribe to over 11 direct email blog/newsletters, and I've even find time to read a few. I cannot get enough of words.

Now as much as this is true, I am typically a word consumer. Unless I'm writing a paper for school, which I haven't done since I snagged my Masters in Education back in 2010, I usually struggle to complete my contributions to the World of Words. I've started stories and left them dangling on the computer screen. I've written poems on my iPhone, in journals, and on scraps of student work about to be recycled. I started this blog one year ago, and...

That all changes today. Today I am making a commitment to myself to write and write often.


I know this is too long to be an efficient blog post. I know there are rules in the bloggesphere against this sort of thing. If you found this post, it's likely you didn't make it this far (perseverance is rare these days). But you know what? Once I started writing this post this morning, I just couldn't stop myself; my words were just dying to get out there and into the world.


I've been here for years (almost thirty), 
 
Krystal 


Books I read this weekend:

1. Schooled by Gordon Korman
2. Midsummer Tights Dream by Louise Rennison
3. Legend by Marie Lu

Songs I am obsessed with:

1. Blurred Lines- Robin Thicke
2. Blurred Lines- Robin Thicke
3. Blurred Lines- Robin Thicke

Movie you should watch:

1. Before Midnight

Fear

There are few things in life that truly terrify me. 

Water, heights, spiders, and pickpockets...no fear. Water rejuvenates me; I am a Pisces, so I can swim like a fish (and drink like one too). Heights thrill me; the higher you get, the better the view (and I mean that literally NOT as some thinly disguised stoner reference). As for spiders, my philosophy is what I can't see, can't hurt me (though I suppose that's not a fool proof way to live- just look at what happened to...*insert witty reference to someone who was killed by something unseen here). Pickpockets would have a field day in my purse. Feel free gentlemen, to help yourself to one of the many pieces of unwrapped pieces of gum or a nail file or two. There certainly isn't any money to be had (hence the poorer). 

In all honesty, growing up where I did, I never even thought to worry about being robbed. As a result of my  rural upbringing, when I go into the big cities, I am so ambivalent about the dangers that lurk around every street corner that I actually leave my purse unzipped, and I DON'T wear it with the strap across my chest. I am what many might call a foolish girl. 

Actually, that's not true. No one would call me a girl. "Ma'am", "Lady", "Woman" might be more likely in my advanced age because I am, in fact, *gulp*...almost-thirty! My actual age doesn't matter because from now until my big day, people (okay, my family mostly) insist on referring  to me as "almost-thirty".

As I set out to enjoy my last 597 days as "almost-thirty", I thought, as so many people have before me, that it might be fun to reflect. And because I am an American, I assume people will care about what I have to write, find my quirky style insanely charming, and as a result I will get a book deal and become wildly rich and famous. 

Let the neuroses fly! Things I am currently afraid of:   

I fear getting fat (again). 

I fear being poor(ish) forever.

I fear the day that I am no longer almost-thirty.